Put all ingredients except alcohol in Vitamix or high powered blender and blend until smooth.
SLOWLY bring up to low heat in a medium saucepan, being careful not to let it boil. When it is warmed and barely starting to thicken, it is ready.
Chill in fridge for a few hours or overnight and whisk alcohol in just before serving.
Heat coconut milk and vanilla until warm in medium saucepan.
Whisk or blend the egg yolks, sugar and spices in a blender.
Slowly add in about half of the coconut mixture to the egg yolks to warm it and then add the whole mixture back into the saucepan.
Bring up to low heat and whisk until barely starting to thicken.
Stir in rum or brandy and serve hot or cold.